Pyramus and Thisbe
by Shuichi Akai
Summary: Roger decided to put on a play. No, it does not go well. [Modern AU]


**Pyramus and Thisbe**

 **Title:** Pyramus and Thisbe  
 **Rating:** T  
 **Fandom:** One Piece; Pyramus and Thisbe  
 **Summary:** Roger decided to put on a play. No, it does not go well. [Modern AU]

* * *

Doflamingo stood in the center of the stage, the spotlight on him. He cleared his throat before speaking, "If we upset you, it is with our good will. That you should think, we come not to upset you. But with good will. To show our simple skill—this is too confusing!"

"Roger said to just roll with it!" Diamante whispered.

"Then you do it!" Doflamingo stormed off stage.

Diamante quickly rushed to the center of the stage and laughed nervously. "I will introduce the characters now. This man is Pyramus,"

Bellemere entered the stage, dressed as a warrior.

"This beautiful lady is Thisbe,"

"I don't want to go out dressed like this!" Corazon said to Doflamingo.

"Just go!" Doflamingo pushed his brother out to stage.

Corazon was dressed in a long pink dress accompanied with makeup on his face. His face turned ketchup red as he stood by Bellemere's side.

"This man with a flashlight is Moonshine,"

Ace walked onto stage, holding a lantern.

"This grizzly, gruesome, growling beast is Lion,"

Shanks came out dressed as a lion. He staggered a bit as he got to his spot. People were wondering if he was drunk.

"Oh!" Diamante realized he has forgotten someone. "This man is Wall!"

Pica came out, showing a chink with his fingers.

XXX

Bellemere stood on the stage, alone. "O grim-looked night! O night with color so black! O night, which is when day is not! I mean, obviously if it's not daytime then it's nighttime. What, did you people think it was daytime 24/7?"

"Bellemere," Corazon whispered. "Stick to the script,"

Bellemere sighed. "I fear my Thisbe's promise is forgot!"

Pica entered, showing the chink.

"And though wall, o sweet o lovely wall," Bellemere continued. "Thou stands between her father's land and mine! Show me thy chink to blink through with my eye!" Bellemere looked through the chink. "What is this? Where is Thisbe? I see no Thisbe! Curse you wall for fooling me!"

Corazon then entered, yet against blushing out of embarrassment. "O wall, often have you heard my moans for parting my dear Pyramus and me!"

"Hang on Roci!" Doflamingo ran on stage and pulled Pica away. "There! Now there's no wall stopping you two from kissing!"

Corazon and Bellemere stared at each other, not knowing how to react. "Uh…" Corazon began. "Let us meet at Ninny's tomb!"

"Sounds like a plan!" Bellemere nodded before they both left the stage.

Now Shanks was on the stage. "You, ladies, you, whose gentle hearts do fear the smallest mighty mouse that creeps on floor, may now perhaps shake and tremble here," He slurred. "When lion loud in wildest rage doth roar: meow! Do not be afraid for it is only me. So like, wanna hook up or something? I know this _great_ place that has delicious food and booze! Come on, gimme a chance!"

"Shanks take me!" Luffy said from the audience. "I want food!"

"Anchor, I'm looking for a date here," Shanks refused.

"Iva, I need you to give me a makeover!"

"Ace, I think you should go on," Corazon said.

Ace entered the stage, holding the lantern. "This flashlight is the moon—" His narcolepsy kicked in and he collapsed, dropping the lantern. "Zzz…"

Corazon decided to enter now. "This is old Ninny's tomb. Where is my love?"

"Hey beautiful," Shanks told Corazon. "Wanna hook up?"

Corazon decided to run off stage. Well, running away was part of the script. Bellemere entered the stage. "Sweet Moon, I thank thee for thy sunny light. I thank—"

"How 'bout you sweetheart?" Shanks asked Bellemere. "You, me, dinner?"

Corazon felt anger and jealousy rise up in his chest and he stormed back onto stage, slapping Shanks across the face. "She's _my_ girlfriend!"

"Leave my little sister's boyfriend alone!" Doflamingo punched Shanks.

"Doffy, I'm your _brother_!" Corazon snapped.

"Nope, you're my sister now!"

Thus, a fight broke out between Doflamingo and Shanks. The curtains then closed. Ace's lantern had broken and the whole theater was on fire now.

XXX

"That went horribly wrong," Rayleigh said.

Roger was laughing. "That was the best damn play I've ever directed!"

"Roger, this was the _only_ play that you directed,"

 **Omake: The Lion Audition**

"Rawr!" Four year old Law was dressed in his lion pajamas and was on the stage, trying to act out lion's part. "I am lion! Rawr!"

"Aww, so cute!" Doflamingo randomly appeared on the stage and picked his nephew up.

"Not cute!" Law denied. "Fierce!"

"Roger, why do I have to be Thisbe?" Corazon asked.

"Daddy's in a dress!" Law exclaimed. "Is Daddy now Mommy?"

"No Law, I'm still your dad," Corazon told him.

"But Daddy is in a dress," Law pointed out.

"This is a costume—"

"Daddy is Mommy!"

"Law—"

"Daddy is Mommy!"

"That's right Law, Daddy is Mommy," Doflamingo agreed.

"STOP ENCOURAGING HIM!"

* * *

 **I…I'm not sure what happened…**


End file.
